Coming Full Circle

     First writings for the New Year. Had 4 necessary days off from work and another year of life at the job has begun. In the midst of all the nuttiness, as I find myself being paid to learn web design software, things are secretive and mysterious and once again some folks are showing their Asses. It is interesting to me when and how history repeats itself over and over again. They say it is because you have not learned the lesson or message and you get to share your so called misfortunes with idiots, clowns and fools, in other words all the traits you are ashamed you possess are manifested in other people. I am wondering though, if we are not being provided opportunities to grow and step up into our fullness or at least having one less unworthy viewpoint or action. I went to Unity tonight to begin a new course in prosperity called: The Millionaires of the Bible. My mind was swirling from work and the energy there, the software programs I will learn, finding time to do so, wondering if I am creative enough and thinking about the state once again my son found himself, so my mind was not at first 100% focused on what the teacher was saying. I grabbed 3 books because I saw others do so. When I found out one of the books I only needed to purchase if I decided to take the class for credit to be a Unity teacher. Now I am focused and wide awake. There is no way I am remotely qualified or interested to teach classes in Metaphysical Christianity. I am still trying to get a handle on what is God. I raised my hand to answer a question in class that I was sure I knew the correct answer only to be told in front of a bunch of people I do not know, not only was I not correct, but nowhere close.

     At first I resorted to my old reliable bag of bullshit and told myself I will never speak in class again, never to put myself in an embarrassing position. As I was talking to myself, an idea popped into my mind, supposed I was to error out loud so that someone else could say the correct answer and enlighten me. It turned out that several people had various correct answers to the teachers question and I realized that I too had said the correct answer, the teacher just did not understand what I meant. But my day ended amazingly after class. I caught my train connections so I could catch the 8:10 train with 20 minutes to spare, there was an announcement of a track change that provided me a better opportunity to sit in my favorite seat on the train and I had a wonderful, healing conversation with a women in which I proceeded to discuss some of Unity’s principles in context of our conversation about work and people. In other words I completed another circle on my travels. So where am I? Starting over with wiser information, ready and eager to fuck up and feeling the sunshine when I realize that I did not do so at all. I am just on a journey to love and appreciate myself and I am not alone.